A blogging guide, built for minimalists who aren’t quite as nerdy.
And this blog is fucking more perfect than ⬇️ those shit.
Read it before ¶
- this is a motherfucking website http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/
- this is a better motherfucking website http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com/
- this is the best motherfucking website https://bestmotherfucking.website/
Seriously, what the fuck DO you really want? ¶
Let’s describe what the REAL prefect website should like:
- Light-weight, with superfast loading speed
- Fit on all you screens
- Looks all good in all your browsers
- Acessible to everyone that visits your website, whether they are using a screen reader or a text-only browser in a terminal
- Clear and easy to read, not something that ADHD people will faint after just a glance
Someone took a masterpiece and incrementally ruin it for the sake of design. And the other paranoids fiercely criticized those in front and then ruin theirs by the shitty default browser styles.
Design is to plan and make something for a specific purpose. The most basic purpose of text on a website is to be read. You know? READ. To be read conveniently. To be read with minimal effort. Rather than to satisfy the fantasies of geeks or nerds.
Stop adding unnecessary animations ¶
Load 5MB of your fucking Javascript just to put a mouse firework effect on the background or custom mousepointer? Slow down the loading speed by 10 seconds just to put an anime waife in the lower left corner whose eyes follow your mouse? Is this cool? Oh come on, okay this is very cool, but what does it have to do with what you wrote?
This shouldn’t need in-depth explanation, right?
Use semantic HTML tags rather than div if possible ¶
Yes, you can style anything with any element, and you can easily make a <div> look like a heading, a footnote, a card or anything else, but have you ever considered that someone other than a sighted person with chrominum browser might read what you write?
- Screen readers can use it as a signpost to help visually impaired users navigate a page
- Search engines will consider its contents as important keywords to influence the page’s search rankings
- Finding blocks of meaningful code is significantly easier than searching through endless divs with or without semantic or namespaced classes
Whenever possible, use semantic HTML tags.
Limit your line width ¶
Looking at an LCD screen is strainful enough. Don’t make me read a line of text that’s 200 fucking characters long. Keep it to a nice 60-80 and users might actually read more than one sentence of your worthless dribble. If your text hits the side of the browser, fuck off forever. You ever see a book like that? Yes? What a shitty book.
Keeping the maximum paragraph width is also more ADHD-friendly. If they’re on a widescreen browser and see your 30cm-long paragraph that sticks out like Mount Everest, do you think they’ll use a vernier caliper to read your shit? Or do you want them to shrink their browser down to a size where they can read a line a second?
Don’t let your text look suffocating ¶
Let’s think about the most wonderful thing that computers have brought us, okay? Infinite length pages. Honey, you are not printing a book, there is no need to make the text close together, it won’t save you 50% the printing cost by reducing line height, nor will it save you any byte of bandwidth. So don’t let the text that is close together give ADHD a little reading shock, okay?
Make your line height at least 1.6, don’t oppress the reader’s eyes.
Use customized font or give your readers shit ¶
Are your users even going to notice that it’s not their default serif or sans-serif? Why do you even bother when Chrome is going to render it like ass anyways? Use a font stack your users already have.
Thank you holy shit, of course you would, if you don’t want someone opening your page to see math formulas rendered with sans-serif like earthworms and shitty text that doesn’t even fit the font, and they can’t even set the font in a mobile browser? Did the person who wrote this sentence ever think that a Chinese person far away on the other side of the Pacific Ocean would see that the only damn single quotation mark ’ in the entire article was displayed in full-width, which was out of place? They don’t know because they damn well thinks that everyone in the world should have a good default Latin font.
Put loading fonts in JS, they’re not important enough to slow down your first screen load time, but important enough to set. The only people who disable JS anyway are nerds who can handle the shitty visual effects of the default fonts.
Stop use decorative non-relevant images ¶
Especially random anime girls, okay?
If the image is contextual, that’s great. But what’s the point of putting a completely unrelated image at the bottom of your blog? You might say, “It makes my blog look better” - maybe better, but people who read your blog are not come here for random pretty pictures, and this will only waste the viewer’s bandwidth and about 3 mousewheels time.
Especially putting a picture of a random anime waife in every article would only make you look like a fucking horny incel. If you like to put a random anime waife on your blog, you’d better have a worthable content of wasting 3 mousewheels time.
And for nerds ¶
Stop saying your fucking misogyny slurs in your next post, please?
Did anyone tell you that blasting words like “motherfucking” all over your fucking website will only make you look like a fucking stupid uncastrated dog? If not, go find some radfem and get fucked off.
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